


battle scars

by pacificnewt



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Coming Out, Confessions, First Kiss, M/M, Tooth Rotting Fluff, Trans Newton Geiszler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 23:49:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15400311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pacificnewt/pseuds/pacificnewt
Summary: in which newt lets hermann in on a secret of his and hermann, in turn, lets newt in on one of his





	battle scars

**Author's Note:**

> as a trans man, this was really meaningful for me to write :,) trans newt is one of my favorite headcanons and it will never be pried from my grubby little hands

“Hey, Hermann, you got a moment?” Newt turns off the light secured to his head and stands at his dissection table, leaning his gloved arms near piles of kaiju entrails. He turns his head to see his partner up on his ladder as usual, tapping away at his chalkboard.

 

“Never, not so long as you’re around,” Hermann responds, regarding his equations fondly. He redirects his gaze to Newt and notices the man on the ground’s head is glistening with sweat. “Hm?”

 

Newt sucks in a deep breath and starts to pull his gloves off. “Well, I mean, we’ve worked together for a while, and I just— I figured that I, um...”

 

Hermann cocks an eyebrow and pulls his reading glasses off, starting to carefully come down his ladder. He swipes his cane once he reaches the bottom and hobbles closer to Newt.

 

With Hermann now closer, Newt finds himself tripping over his words a little bit more than he anticipated he would. When Hermann taps his cane in a gesture of expectance, Newt nearly jumps out of his skin.

 

“I mean! I just, well— shit.” Newt brings his arm over to hug his chest and props his other arm on it and sticks his thumb halfway in his mouth. “Never mind. Never mind, it’s dumb! This is dumb, it’s fine, you can go back to work.”

 

Hermann’s face suddenly softens and Newt’s heart starts doing jumping jacks. He looks at him with a twinge of concern. “Newton, is everything alright? You have always been able to confide in me, and quite frankly, seeing you so worked up makes me rather anxious.”

 

“Sorry! I’m sorry, man, it’s nothing. I’m wasting your time, don’t mind me!” Newt laughs loudly, nervously, then starts haphazardly yanking his gloves back over his hands and pulls the light back over his head. His hands start shaking while he tries to get back to his work and he realizes Hermann has not left his spot. He stands, leaning against his cane, watching Newt like a hawk.

 

Newt lets out a deep, long sigh, then turns to face Hermann. “There’s something I really wanna tell you, buddy.”

 

Hermann’s eyes suddenly widen as he assumes the worst, taken a bit aback by Newt’s statement. _What could he be talking about?_  Hermann clears his throat and readjusts himself. “As I said, you can confide in me, Newton. I’ve no idea what it is you want to tell me, but...” He bites his lip and taps his cane. “...I do hope you know that you _can_  tell me.”

 

Newt nods rather frantically. “Yeah, yeah, I know! I know, it’s just that, uh— here, let’s switch.” He rises from his seat and pulls his equipment off once more. He ushers Hermann to take his spot, and when Hermann obliges and thanks him, he eyes the table with distaste and rolls a ways away from it.

 

Newt slips his hands into his back pockets to stabilize himself. “Okay, I know you’re probably super nervous and I’m making this a huge huge deal— it isn’t, by the way— it’s just that we’ve worked together for a while and there’s somethin’ about me I never told you; somethin’ I want you to know.”

 

Hermann smiles softly and nods, trying to encourage his friend to continue.

 

Newt exhales deeply. He turns himself around and quickly undoes his tie, letting it fall to the ground. He gets to work unbuttoning his shirt.

 

Hermann raises an eyebrow and cranes his neck at Newt’s back. “Newton? What on earth are you—“

 

Suddenly Newt turns around, tears in the corners of his eyes, his shirt fully opened. At first all Hermann can focus on is the masterpiece on display on his very own chest. Hermann is aware of the tattoos on his arms, but not on his chest. He gapes in awe and looks at Newt. “Newton, that’s— it’s gorgeous.”

 

Newt looks down at his chest and chuckles, understanding that Hermann hasn’t yet seen the full picture. In one swift movement, he takes a step toward his partner, seizes his hand, and rests it against his chest. He guides Hermann’s thin, long fingers across one of his scars.

 

Hermann’s lip quivers, his hands shaking. He allows Newt to show him what he’s been wanting to since they met. His other hand moves to feel his other scar, almost without thinking about it. The tears fall from Newt’s eyes and land on Hermann’s pale and bony wrists. Hermann, startled, looks up at Newt to see him smiling thoughtfully. They sit like that for some time— Newt caressing his own chest with Hermann’s hands— then Hermann clears his throat again. “What happened?”

 

“Huh?” Newt blinks.

 

“I’ve never seen this on anybody before. Please, I don’t mean to pry, but I’d like to know. What happened?”

 

Newt starts to laugh. It starts innocent, then he throws his head back and starts laughing loud enough for anyone down the hall to hear. Hermann is horribly confused and almost offended until Newt squeezes his hands and eventually calms himself down. “I’m trans, dude! I’m a trans dude!”

 

Hermann freezes. His mouth falls slightly open and his eyes blow open even wider. He looks up at Newt, who’s still smiling. When Hermann doesn’t say anything right away, Newt’s smile falls. He chews at his bottom lip and starts to let go of Hermann’s hands. “I mean, is...is that oka—“

 

Before Newt can finish his sentence, he’s cut off by Hermann’s warm embrace. He’s shocked; Hermann usually doesn’t initiate any sort of physical contact with _anyone_ , least of all Newt. He stumbles backward at the force of the hug, but then he starts to chuckle and wraps his arms around Hermann’s back. “Hey, bud. It’s okay.”

 

“Newton, I...” Hermann’s voice trails off, getting even softer than it already had been. “My word, I’m incredibly sorry. I had no idea, I am so sorry.”

 

“Why, dude?” Newt grins and rubs Hermann’s back affectionately. “You didn’t do anything wrong!” Hermann sighs deeply and leans onto Newt a little more. Newt can swear he feels himself start to blush.

 

“This changes nothing, you know?”

 

Newt swallows hard. “Yeah, I hope not. It’s just something I thought you should know, I guess.”

 

Hermann pulls away from the hug. His hands gravitate back to Newt’s chest and he feels his scars again, committing the details to memory. He swipes his fingers over the stitches and over the colorful bursts of kaiju emblazoned on Newt’s skin. Hermann suddenly is overcome with emotion and nearly starts to cry. “By jove, Newton, you never cease to amaze me.”

 

If Newt wasn’t already blushing, he sure is now. He scratches the back of his head sheepishly and laughs a little nervously. “I wouldn’t say _that,_ you’ve always been annoyed by me ‘n’ my antics. One could argue this is just another one of ‘em.”

 

Hermann stares at Newt for a few savory moments. He looks into his eyes, still threatened by tears, down to the stubble on his face and then right at his lips. Without hesitation, Hermann stands and tips forward and purposefully places his lips against Newt’s.

 

And they’re kissing, there in the lab, Hermann’s hands still dancing along Newt’s chest. Newt, after quickly recovering from the initial shock, places his hands along Hermann’s waist and kisses him back. Hermann can feel his partner’s heart beating wildly in his ribcage and a smile pokes at his lips. Newt hums into their kiss and sighs a happy “Herms” against his lips.

 

Eventually they break away their chaste entanglement and Hermann brings Newt even closer to his body. “I’m proud of you,” he murmurs; something he’s never told Newt.

 

“I’m proud of you, too, ‘cause now I know you aren’t straight!” Newt beams and quickly steals back his seat. He tugs Hermann’s hand, encouraging him into his lap. Hermann obliges, blushing all the while.

 

“I was certain you were already aware.”

 

“I had an inkling,” Newt muses, cupping Hermann’s face with his hand. “Y’know how much sleep I’ve lost over the mixed signals I got from you? Overthinking whether or not you were trying to flirt, all of that?”

 

Hermann can’t stifle the laugh that forces its way through his lips. He tugs a hand through Newt’s hair, coming it neatly with his fingers. “I cannot say the same on your part; you were never very good at being subtle.”

 

“So— so you knew? You knew I was dropping hints I’ve been in love with you since I met you and you never did anything about it?” Newt pouts, his eyes wide and his heart in his chest.

 

“Since you met me, hm?” Hermann’s smile widens. He keeps playing at Newt’s hair. “I’m afraid I can only say I’ve reciprocated for about half that time, _schatzi_.”

 

Newt’s throat is suddenly dry. “For real? Wait, wait— I hope that by that you mean the second half of knowing me and that your feelings never went away, ‘cause, like, I still really like you a lot and that would—“ He’s cut off by Hermann’s chapped lips pressed against his own soft ones again.

 

“Yes, the second half.” One of Hermann’s hands is still on his chest.

 

They sit in silence a few moments, drinking in each other’s presence. Both touched starved men allow their fingers to wander across their skin, faces, chests, then lean in to steal a few more kisses.

 

Hermann finally pipes up again. “I meant what I said about being proud, Newton. This changes absolutely nothing; you are still the beautiful, bumbling idiot I have always ignored my adoration for and you most certainly always will be.” Newt’s breath hitches because Hermann has _never_  been affectionate at all with him, certainly not in this context.

 

“Hopefully from now on you won’t be ignoring your adoration, though, yeah?” Newt raises an eyebrow suggestively and trails his hands down Hermann’s arms.

 

Hermann grins, actually _grins_ , and places a neat kiss on Newt’s cheek. “No, darling, not a chance.”


End file.
